CHAMPION—March 27, 2017
A Sunday swarm of children enjoy the Historic Emporium on the North Side of the Square in Downtown Champion.
The idea of having to mow the yard before the first of April is circulating through Champion. “Surely,” they say, “this is an April Fool’s joke!” No joke—things are greening up and growing. There is, however, something about the time of year, as we turn from winter to spring, that lends itself to lighthearted celebrations. Many different cultures have had days of foolishness around the start of April since the time of Constantine who lived from about the year 288 to 337. Some people think it all started with some aggravation about switching calendars, from the Julian to the Gregorian, in 1582. Whatever the beginnings of it, a little spring time silliness is certainly acceptable in Champion. In keeping with the spirit, and with the mode o day, a Champion lie is being hatched—concocted, if you will.
Don Bishop’s birthday was March 23rd and that is the truth. It turns out that his name really is Don and not Bob. He was introduced to visiting Texas grand girls as Bob by a clearly distracted Grannie—sorry Don. They learned his real name before they left the store that day. Charming Judie of Tar Button wild black bear fame also celebrates on March 23rd. It seems that The Champion News has always celebrated her in February. She is well worth a second party. Among the special birthdays to celebrate soon is that of journalist Rachael Maddow, political commentator and author. She was born April 1, 1973. She earned her Doctor of Philosophy degree in politics (University of Oxford, 2001) and uses it to help make sense of current events. Jhonn Rhodes is a student at Skyline School. He is making sense out of the second grade and also celebrates on April 1st. He and Rachael may always have trouble making people believe that is really their birthday. It is a funny holiday. Miranda Cannucci is a 4th grade student with birthday on the 3rd. That is also the day that Skyline’s Book Fair starts. It will go on until the 7th. Larissa Pendergrass, first grade student, celebrates on the 6th. Muffins with Mom will happen that day at the school so it will be a good day for Larissa. Bud Hutchison will have his birthday on April 8th. It may be a big one, but Bud is young at heart. Spring seems to be here early; maybe he will have his Spring Trail Ride early. Nannette Hirsch with the Douglas County Health Department will be at Skyline early on the 4th. That is the first Tuesday of the month and the day she always shows up to do blood pressure checks as a service to the community. She is there from 8:45-10:45 in the morning. She comes to Champion on the last Tuesday of the month. She may be there in time to help fabricate the great Champion lie. She is certainly a lighthearted, positive individual up for fun.
Revisiting The Champion News from a decade ago we find the following: “’If you cough, sneeze, sigh, or yawn, do it not loud but privately; and speak not in your yawning, but put your handkerchief or hand before your face and turn aside.’ That is the fifth rule that George Washington copied (in his own hand) out of the list of 110 Rules of Civility and Decent Behavior in Company and Conversation.’” There was also a reference to Ben Franklin who used the pseudonym Richard Saunders to write Poor Richard’s Almanack. He printed up to 10,000 copies per year of between 1732 and 1758, providing his readers with seasonal weather forecasts, practical household hints, puzzles, amusements and insightful aphorisms. An axiom appropriate to these days is “A Slip of the Foot you may soon recover, but a Slip of the Tongue you may never get over.” Important things going on these days would be amusing if they were not so dire. It will take a young person to be able to look back on this period of history fifty years hence and make sense of it. There is optimism inherent in such a thought…that sense can be made of it.
 Welcome home to Mary and Bob!
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Good thoughts that come from music can go a long way to making things better. To be distracted from your ailments and worries is a gift. Champion grandson Foster Wiseman is taking mandolin lessons and is active in a regular jam of his young contemporaries up in Springfield. His Champion grandfather would be pleased that the tradition is being carried on. There was a welcome home party for Bob and Mary at Vanzant on Thursday evening, and they are so welcome that there will be another party next Thursday. Seventeen musicians and a nice bunch of music appreciators made a lively evening. Some of the good thoughts from the recent jam include lyrics that say, “I’m free as the breeze and I’ll do as I please.” “I thought I heard you calling my name.” “It’s a shame that all the blame is on us women.” “Each day I’ll do a golden deed by helping those who are in need.” “Down the road from me there’s an old holler tree.” “I’m working on a building.” “Make the world go away.” “Life gets mighty hard in the gravel yard making little rocks out of big rocks all day.”
Things are being hard for folks in Nebraska as they say they have beaten the Keystone Pipeline before and they will do it again. “We will never allow an inch of this foreign steel pipeline carrying foreign tar sands that can pollute our water and take away property rights and threaten treaty rights of tribes here in Nebraska. We will not allow that to happen,” says Jane Fleming Kleeb. The project that has been given the green light again and the justification for it is that it will make lots of jobs and will promote the energy independence of the United States. Some say that there will be as few as 35 permanent jobs created after the construction. As to energy independence, the reality is probably that the refined products will be exported. These struggles will continue. Environmentalists will be lauded as heroes and scorned as crackpots. Corporate interests do not seem to be concerned with the welfare of the population. Address your concerns with your law makers and elected representatives. Governor Greitens (573) 751-3222, Roy Blunt (202) 224-5721, Claire McCaskill (202) 224-6154, Billy Long (202) 25-6536, Jason Smith (202) 225-4404—their job is to listen to you and to work for your best interests.
Rough winter is departing and the spring rains are bringing lush growth to make the countryside glorious again. On the wide, wild and wooly banks of Auld Fox Creek the days pass gently and evenly as if these were ordinary days. Neighbors meet neighbors and commerce is brisk in the lovely Recreation of the Historic Emporium. Children play on the wide veranda. Foster and Kalyssa, Drayson and Carson, and Chase were in a sprightly swarm on the store’s steps on Sunday. Bees are seen in upper stories of the Behemoth Bee Tree again. Visitors, hungry for the nostalgic comfort of home or a place like home, take their photographs, make their purchases and then depart for the big dreary elsewhere. The big lie in Champion is that we are depressed. April Fool! –Looking on the Bright Side!
