Among the birthdays we have neglected are those of Woody Guthrie and Sharry Lovan, both extraordinary musicians. Guthrie was born July 14, 1912, the year the Titanic sank and on the anniversary of the storming of the Bastille in France in 1790. He is considered one of the most significant figures in American folk music. Sharry’s birthday is July 19th and in addition to being an extraordinary cook and fearless motorcycle rider, she is part of Stringed Union, the local band involved in good works all over this part of the world. Every year they come to our Skyline School to introduce students to the various instruments and to perpetuate the love of music. The 19th is also the birthday of Ethan Alexander and Champion Zee Heffern a couple of interesting young men. We use birthdays to celebrate and to be celebrated.

Years have passed without hearing from self-proclaimed Champion, Eulalia Jasmin. Older now, she writes to The Champion News and some of her observations are close to the ground. Turtles. She says she is saddened to know that barbaric turtle races are still going on in country fairs and picnics. The box turtle is the official state reptile of Missouri and can live as long as 50 years. The Conservation Department says many box turtles are captured by people and taken home to be kept as pets. “Such captive conditions are in direct conflict with the biological needs of these turtles; they may slowly starve to death or grow abnormal shells, claws, and jaws if not maintained and cared for correctly.” They should not be kept in captivity. Their shells are living; a porous tissue filled with blood vessels and nerve endings. “Don’t paint them,” Eulalia says because paint toxins seep directly into their bloodstream. Thousands of box turtles are killed annually while crossing roads and highways. If you want to assist a turtle, move it in the direction it was going. “And leave them alone,” she says. “Certainly, don’t soak them in coffee and send them out to race for your folly.” Eulalia is pretty wound up over this issue. She says our box turtles are to be admired by humans for their symbolic characteristics of slow, steady progress, longevity and resilience. As reptiles go, she says they are Champions. Her mail never has a return address on it, but she claims to be a Champion—Looking on the Bright Side!

Just for the fun of it, here is another of her letters from July 23, 2020.

“What a wonderful time to be living!” extols Eulalia Jasmin in her recent letter to The Champion News at Rt. 72 Box 367, Norwood, MO 65717. She says the current upheaval of the whole world gives us a chance to recalibrate, to reorganize, to rebuild in a better way. She is excited to be alive right now and hopes she will live long enough to see an improved world. Her return address is always a mystery. Use the search engine on the www.championnnews.us website to see her observations, advice and council over the years. Wherever she is, she says she considers Champion her home, though we do not know if she has ever been here. “A line from my friends is like balm to my soul,” said Thomas Jefferson to Nathaniel Macon in November of 1821. A handwritten letter is always welcome. The USPS is a necessary institution for grandparents marooned from the smartest, most talented, best looking children in the world. Businessman, Louis DeJoy, heads up the outfit now. Postal patrons hope he will use his 35 years of business experience in reverse, as his expertise heretofore has been in labor analytics—the art of eliminating as many jobs as possible. Those voting by mail because of COVID-19 did not have to have their absentee ballots notarized, but they had to arrive at the court house by the 23rd. (You can still vote absentee by going to the court house up until August 4th.) The system that has been trusted with our Social Security checks, our medications, and letters from grandchildren should be able to handle the National Election, if left unimpeded. Maybe Mr. DeJoy will join Ms. DeVos on one of her yachts and they can sail off into the sunset and have some kind of redemptive adventure before they incuriously reach the edge.

Facebook