Champion News

CHAMPION—May 25, 2009

        Empathy and Compassion vie for prevalence with Love and Gratitude for the top spots in the vast lexicon of sentiment in Champion.  Bully!

        Arlene Cooley called as soon as the paper hit the stands and was gratified to learn that the information concerning the Proctor Reunion as reported here last week was completely erroneous.  She said, “Never have I been so glad to find out something was so wrong!”  It seems she has some interest and perhaps responsibility in that Reunion and she was sure that she had another week to get ready.  Sometimes people will make a mistake just to insure that the subject matter gets enough attention in the correcting of the error.  That is not the case here.  Hopefully every Proctor will be at the appointed place and time.  Wherever that is, they’ll be having a Champion good time!  Ruby could not be reached for comment.

        All families have their quirks—little idiosyncrasies that set them apart at the same time rendering them all the more loveable for their childishness and naiveté.  Sue Upshaw does not care for accordion music.  This is not news to the family and not even relevant except that her brother-in-law, The General, fancies himself quite the virtuoso on the accordion.  He has studied the bellows driven free reed aerophone instrument intermittently since last fall…thinking that his time in the Air Force would have given him the advantage.  Alas! In a protracted and unfortunate display of contempt for excellence in music he finally strung out enough notes in the right order that Sue was able to recognize “A Bicycle Built For Two,” and thus put the poor thing to rest.  This occurred at the Denlow School Reunion on Saturday.  Fortunately Phil Blazes quickly cleansed the aesthetic pallet.  His keyboard performance of the Hawaiian Wedding Song was interpreted in dance by Kaye-Hula Hula Upshaw Johnston, Peggy Hancock Hula Hula Somebody, and Cathy Hula Alsup Hula Riley Hula Hula.  Lavish costumes of custom fit grass skirts and exotic floral leis lent authenticity to the piece.  It was a tribute to the Den-aloha Aloha oy Interpretation of the Omens.  Sixty odd attendees at the Den Aloha Lou Ow tacitly agreed that it had been ominous that the big ancient tree had come down just the week before.  Fred Follis, Frank Proctor, Earl and Carol Spencer, Richard Johnston, Steve Kutz, Jimmy Schrader, Robert Upshaw, Pete Proactor and probably others participated in a rapid clean up of that event.  As is true in Champion, a small civic-minded percentage of the population usually justly takes credit for the majority of the accomplishments made.

        “The Armadillo has left the State.”  That is according to Robert Upshaw who officiated at the auction at the Denlow School Reunion.  He was referring to Champion Barbara Krider’s couture armadillo handbag, which she had generously donated to the cause of Denlow.  “I hated to part with it, but I was glad to see it get out of Missouri,” stated Upshaw.  The bidding was contentious and the final outcome was shrouded in secrecy in terms of who actually purchased the object and how much was paid.  An attractive young relative of the late Cletis Upshaw has taken the thing to Kentucky—Fulton, KY.  As more information becomes available concerning the disposition of the piece, determinations will be made about making it public.  An unofficial spokesperson for the Denlow Reunion observed that the attendees were, for the most part, convivial and decorous, in sharp contrast to the behavior of the bellicose mob of last year, which the General had likened to Irish Hillbillies.  Old acquaintances were renewed and people came from far away to remember their youth together.  Any official remembrances are welcome at Champion Items, Rt. 2, Box 367, Norwood, MO 65717.

        The up side of the dreary off and on rain and significant humidity is that it’s perfect Perfect weather for transplanting.  Those sturdy fragrant tomato plants with their long hairy stems and rich root balls just want to be planted deep and fed well.  Rita Krider suggested planting some paper matches with pepper plants so that the roots can get the phosphorous that they need.  Someone else thinks that a little powdered milk in the hole with the new tomato plants will help prevent the blossom end rot, which is thought to be a result of a calcium deficiency.  Whatever the method, good record keeping is a great gardening tool.  Relying on memory from one garden season to the next does not always maximize the use of the information.  Garden journals often get neglected about the time the hard work is really underway.  It is a matter of priorities.  Linda’s Almanac from over at the Plant Place in Norwood says that the 27^th and 28^th will be most favorable for corn, cotton, okra, beans, peppers, eggplant and other above-ground crops.  Plant seedbeds and flower gardens.  The next really good days for these crops will be the 3^rd of June through the 5^th.  Recently a patient asked her doctor, “Do you plant by the signs?”  He said, “Does that stuff really work?  Isn’t it just hocus-pocus?”  The gardener held her tongue about how could anyone belonging to the American Medical Association possibly accuse anybody else of ‘hocus pocus?’  Finally she returned that the garden lore found in almanacs and other sources is based on an accumulation of the knowledge of record keeping gardeners and astronomers over a period of centuries.  Modern medicine is much more recent.  In any event, Linda will be happy to discuss any garden lore, philosophies, procedures and successes and failures.  Just stop by.

        Over in the Arlington National Cemetery, Section Sixty is the saddest acre in America.  The Old Guard oversees the planting of the Veterans of the current conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan there.  On Memorial Day twelve more names were added to the honor roll of fallen soldiers on the News Hour with Jim Lehrer.  The youngest was 19 years old and the oldest was a man from California named Hutchison who was 60.  A soldier named Brooks from Joplin, MO died there recently.  He was 38 years old.  Champions remember those who serve every day with Love and Gratitude.

        Tennessee boys are loose in Champion again.  They have been busy helping out on the farm, playing with the little cousins, continuing their good connection with their mother’s home place.  It is a nice tradition to carry on.  Champion spirits are always uplifted by their presence.

        “Where were you on the night of June the 3^rd?  Where were you on the night of June the 3^rd?  Did you meet a stranger?  Did you take a walk?  Was you heart in danger?  You better talk!  Just remember I heard every word.  ‘Cause we were together on the night of June the 3^rd!”  That date is coming up so it will be a good time to take note.  It is a Fat’s Waller tune.  He played a great stride piano and sang, “Don’t let it bother you, if now and then castles tumble, never grumble, count from one to ten.  A smile is a frown upside down.  Turn that frown upside down and smile!  Sing!  La da da di da di zing zing zing!”

        E-mail examples of hocus pocus to Champion News.  Keep looking for pictures of the great Armadillo Handbag (couture) on the website www.championnews.us.  Step out on the porch at Henson’s Store in downtown Champion and freely express your views.  (Rush Limbaugh ‘earns’ $123,287.67 per day—including Sundays and holidays–$45 million a year, expressing his.)  Express your views, belt out a joyful song, or just let your gaze wander about the broad expanses of Lonnie Krider Memorial Drive where every step of the way is fraught with history and optimism.  Champion!  Looking on the Bright Side!